4 of 30 Power shifts
Imagine a
situation
It is one o’clock
at night. You are lying in bed
with your partner. You have
just finished doing what young
people usually do at 1 am –
watching TV. You feel like having
a glass of milk. Do you (a) get out of
bed, get yourself a glass of milk,
or (b) ask
your partner to get the milk for
you?
If you
are the (b)
type – ask yourself
“Why am I asking my partner
instead of getting the milk
myself?”
Chances are
that you are asking your partner
to fetch milk because you
perceive you are the “stronger”
party in the relationship. Early
in a marriage, the young wife is
stronger, the husband wants sex.
She will usually ask the husband
to fetch things. As the
years go by, the balance may
shift and the husband ends up
bossing the wife around. The
situation is unhealthy.
Remember:
Power shifts in a marriage. Like
a sine curve (for those who know
their maths), power shifts up and
down. Today, you may be strong
but you may be weak tomorrow (eg
down by a stroke, get sack in
your job, crash into a tree).
Once
you realise this, what do you do
when you are strong? When you are
strong, you should treat your
weaker partner reasonably, so
that when you are weak, your
partner will treat you fairly too.
Do not bully
others and do not allow others to
bully you.
So remember
to get the milk yourself.
